DAD CLEANS HER ROOM

Dear Jellybean,

My dad has this thing, where, if I'm gone or hanging out with friends, and we plan to come back to my house, or he just feels like it, he will clean my room. It really bothers me because I have a lot of space with him, and I have been really good to him. I confide in him, I'm honest with him, I'm a really good daughter to him (not bragging, i'm just not getting into trouble,,, i have straight a's and have been in honors classes since 4th grade) I tell him EVERYTHING going on. I work my butt of in school and I have good morals. I know that with my brother, and my stepmom(who is once removed... they got divorced) he snooped. He read diarys, he looked in cabinets... etc. It really bothers me, because I just can't trust him to not read my stuff. I am SO open with him, and i still feel like he's trying to invade my privacy. I mean, I can't vent in my diary, because he will just read it and take it to be something serious, and he reads my poetry, which i am SO protective of, and I've even shown him some so he wouldn't feel the need to snoop!!! What should I DO!?!? I've tried talking to him, and he just gets really angry and doesn't see the point of me caring, but he won't promise not do clean my room anymore! He doesn't see the big deal, but to me it is a BIG deal. he just doesn't get it! HELP!
-Frustrated at the Clean Freak

Dear Frustrated,

I have a brilliant idea... clean your own room! Seriously, if your room is totally spic and span, your dad will have less reason (as in, excuses) to clean it for you. Other than that, keep up your great behavior - working hard in school, confiding in your dad, sticking to your values - and give your dad time. He's freaked about being a good father and protecting his little baby (that's how he sees you). Plus, now that he's no longer with your stepmom, he has extra time on his hands... and snooping on you is the only thing he's figured out so far to fill the void. Keep on helping your dad see how responsible and trustworthy you are, and with any luck, eventually he'll start taking that for granted, and find something else to fill his time with. You could even encourage him to take up new activities - anything from volunteer work, to meeting that pretty teacher at your school (lol) - to help your dad get a life of his own again.