NOT ENJOYING LIFE

Dear Jellybean,

I am 16 years old and currently not enjoying my life. I'm one of those people you never hear about, the nerdy, goody-goody people that no one really cares about. The thing is, I hate being that way. I'm in grade 10 & I've never been to a single party in my life, never kissed a guy, & I hate it. I have very few friends & things aren't working out with them either right now. I have very flat hair & a flat chest too, & pale skin. Do you have any suggestions to help me with any of this stuff?? Thank you very much.

Dear Writer,

It sounds like it's time for you to explore yourself as a person more, and find out what's inside of you. I guarantee that the "real you" is a special, amazing and interesting person... you've just got to bring her out! Start by sitting down and thinking about what you love the most. Is it music, political activism, drawing, movies, soccer... or something else? Once you have figured out what activity makes you feel great, find a way to bring it into your life more, because it will help to bring YOU out!

For example, if you adore watching movies, maybe there is an actress inside of you! Get involved with your school's drama society, or join a community theatrical group, and watch your inner self come out and shine! Or if you love music and writing poetry, maybe you are the next big songwriter! You could join the school band to get more musical experience, or even start a band of your own by putting up a notice at school asking for intersted kids who sing or play instruments to get in touch with you. The best thing is, when you join new groups, you meet new people who share the same passion as you - and these people can become really wonderful new friends.

That's all about the inner you, and it's really important. But sometimes making the outer you match the person you feel inside can also do wonders for your self-confidence. Sounds like time for a makeover! If you know someone who has a gorgeous haircut, ask them where they go to get it done. Or just visit a few salons in your area and see which ones are doing cuts that you love. Then go in with some pictures from magazines of haircuts you think are pretty, and ask for their help in transforming you into the person you want to be!

Makeup is fun to play with, and can really play up your looks. Visit your local department store or drugstore cosmetics counter and ask the cosmetics ladies if they do free makeup lessons. If they do, you can learn about the best makeup colors and products for you to use, and you might even get some free samples. Then you can start practicing on your own. Remember, when you're beginning with makeup, a little goes a long way.

As for boys and kissing, that will come. To be ready for love and romance, though, you need to have more self-confidence. That's not about makeup or haircuts - that's about knowing you are beautiful, the way you are right now. I hope that bringing out your inner self - with some of the suggestions I gave you above - will help you on the journey to loving yourself, and discovering why you're worth loving.