SHOULD SHE MOVE SCHOOLS?

Dear Jellybean,

I just moved to a new city which is right beside the city I used to live in. My parents let me stay in my school, instead of moving to another one in the area. At first, I thought this was okay... but now, I'm getting fed up of waking up 5 or 6 and getting home by 5-6. I'm not at my house for almost 12 hours! I started to consider moving schools and realised that I do want to move schools. The thing is, I'd be moving once I start grade 11. It would be really hard to make new friends then. Plus, my parents might not move my little brother to a school in our new area because no one can pick him up at school or babysit him til we get home. My parents are very dependent on my decision. What should I do? Should I move schools? Help!

Dear Writer,

If you're a long-time reader of this advice column, you know I'm a big fan of Pro-And-Con lists for figuring out tough decisions like this one. It's a great tool for making up your mind when you could go two ways about something. You can use a list for this decision, but instead of "Pro-And-Con", it's the pros of one school versus the other.

I've got another idea for you too. Since this decision affects your whole family, what with the little-brother issue, why not make your list a family project? Ask your mom and dad (or just one of them, if that makes more sense) to help you create a decision-making list about which school you should go to. All you need is a pen, some paper, and some uninterrupted time to work on the list together.

Start off by drawing a line right down the center of a blank piece of paper. At the top of one column, write the name of your current school. Write the name of hte other school (the one you're thinking about moving to) atop the other column.

Now it's time to start putting down the reasons, in each column, why going to that school would be better. These could be social (you already have friends at your current school), academic (the other school has better teachers or courses), convenience (one school is closer to home and requires less travel), extra-curricular (you're a dancer and there's a dance squad at one school and not the other), and so on.

If you think of a negative reason for one school, put it down in the other school's column, as a positive reason for going to that one. For example, if your current school is too far away, write in the other school's column, "Closer to home".

Be creative about coming up with as many "Pros" for each school as possible, and encourage your parents to come up with reasons too. When you're done, hold up the list. Which column is longer? You might get lucky, and be able to look at the list, and see that one school has way more positive factors than the other. In that case, making a decision will be pretty straight-forward.

Even if the columns are about even for reasons, now you'll have them all listed, and that's handy. You can go over them with your folks, talk about which reasons are (or aren't) important, and have a discussion about what's best for you and everyone.

And if you're still confused after all of this? Another way to achieve a decision when you’re confused is to pretend you've already made your choice. You're torn between two schools, so imagine that you HAVE to stay at your current school, and you're not able to go to the other one. How do you feel? Are you relieved, or do you feel like you're missing out on something? Sometimes your gut reaction can be a good sign of which choice you should make.