DRAMA QUEEN

Dear Jellybean,

i am always the center of drama. I don't try to be. But it always happens and it happened again. Everone around me and everyone i know always are having problems. Always getting in fights, arguments and just everything happens.Especially me. Sometimes it has nothing to do with me but still. Why am always the one who always has all the drama? And how can i stop?
-A.L.ii

Dear A.L.ii,

You're not the only one having drama. You're just a drama queen, so you think it's all centered around you.

Don't believe me? Take a look around, again. Everyone - and I mean everyone, even the people who seem to have it all together - has problems. Everyone has to deal with arguments, set-backs, emotional issues and major life events. That's what life is! It's not much good wishing for it to stop... because short of moving to a retirement home (where let's face it, there's probably drama over whether they're serving beef or chicken in the cafeteria), you just can't escape problems.

But they're not all about you. Really. So the question is, how can you stop being such a drama queen?

Admit It To Yourself

You can start by admitting to yourself that you enjoy being the center of attention - even when it's negative attention. Think about how you might make this happen, more than it actually should. Do you offer to be a go-between when friends are fighting, or run around getting everyone's sides of the story? Do you always have to be in-the-know about the latest scandal at school?

Tone It Down

Make a commitment to toning down this behavior. When you're tempted to get involved in other peoples' business, tell yourself "no more drama!" Tell friends "you can work this out yourself", even if you're tempted to meddle. If people are shocked, just tell them you're working on toning down your diva behavior.

Don't Play The Star

It might help to think of life as if it were a movie. Instead of being the "star" of every scene that erupts, try to take a "supporting role". Pay attention to what everyone else is doing, sit back, and don't rush the stage. You can even enjoy the show, if you want - just do it from the sidelines.

Take A Breath

If you genuinely don't know how you always end up in the middle of everything, you're probably rushing to action or speech without thinking first. Notice when you're getting triggered into drama mode, take a deep breath — and be quiet.

Find Another Outlet

Many drama queens are just frustrated actors. Why not express all those emotions - and get a chance to try out for the lead - on a real stage? Join your school's drama society, try out for the annual musical, or get involved in community theater (ask your folks to help you call around and find out how). You might as well put all that energy and imagination to good use!