CONFIDENCE PROBLEM

Dear Jellybean,

Hi i am writing to you about a confidence problem. At school everybody thinks of me as the quiet girl who is so uptight and can't have fun. But at home i am so different than that, i am always laughing and having fun i am practically the life of the party with my relatives, but what i find hard is trying to let people know who i really am and not this little stuck up person that they think i am its just hard for me to be my "crazy" self with people i dont really know because i am always scared that they are going to judge me or make fun of me. Also i think i have a problem with talking with people, like i can talk if they talk to me but i cant really start a conversation with them and keep it going. If you could help me with this confidence problem and not being afraid of what people think of me, that would be great!!

Dear Writer,

It sounds like a couple of things might be stalling your confidence. One, you're so worried about what other people think of you, that you question yourself when you're in public. Two, you might be comparing yourself to other people you see, and thinking you come up short.

If you're dwelling on what other people think of you, this about this: People think mostly of themselves. That's true of you, right? You're focused on yourself, and how you appear to others. Well guess what... so is everyone else! While you're wondering what they think of you, they are probably wondering what YOU (and everyone else) think of them! Even the most popular people have these kinds of thoughts sometimes. So try to stop worrying about how other people see you, and start focusing on being your best self and making OTHER people feel great. I promise you, when you switch your focus to helping other people feel comfortable and liked, you will get back your efforts tenfold. It's the secret of many successful people.

If your problem is that you compare yourself to other people, try to realize that everyone is different. Everyone has something that they're better at than others, and everyone has their flaws. That girl with the perfect hair? She might have zits all over her back. That kid who makes everyone laugh? Maybe she's such a jokester because she's terrified nobody will like her if she stops yukking it up. Try to realize that you are good enough, and you can't be like anyone else, so there's no point in comparing. Plus, I bet there is probably at least one person who compares themself to YOU!

I hope this helps you to think about your confidence issues in a new way. Keep on practising positive self-talk, and never put yourself down. Confidence takes practice. So practice!