BE A DANCER OR A NORMAL TEEN?

Dear Jellybean,

I'm a really great dancer, but that’s just the problem. I'm really great because I'm at my studio at least 5-6 days a week for at least 2 1/2 hrs. I really love it but I'd also really like to be a normal teenager. I've thought of quitting before but I really didn't want to do that either. All of my friends have boyfriends and are allowed to go out on Friday nights and eat whatever they want. I'm so confused, I don't know what to do. Be a normal teen, or keep working at what I love?
-Rachel

Dear Rachel,

That's the eternal dilemma of the truly talented: Make the necessary sacrifices to fulfill your potential and achieve greatness, or ditch a life of discipline and hard work for a life of ease, but one that won't bring you acclaim in your chosen field.

You're only in your teens, and that's a very young age to commit all your energy, time and focus to a career. However, if you hope to become a professional dancer, that is what you'll have to do. As I'm sure you have heard by now, the career span of a professional dancer generally begins directly after high school, and concludes within 10 years. That gives you a very short window of time in which to make your mark, exercise your craft, become famous, etc. If you want to launch your career right after high school, you have to practice like a dog during it - which is just what you're doing now.

So the big question is, what do you want? If your heart is in dance, your path is clear. The sacrifices are huge, and the payoff is not guaranteed, but that's the reality for everyone who dreams of being a professional artist or athlete (and a dancer is both).

Of course, it's possible that you have other dreams, and maybe even one that's just as big as your love of dance. Or maybe you've been busting your butt to be the best dancer ever, because someone else (a parent, maybe) wants that for you. Perhaps you're naturally good at dancing, so you think that compels to you to make it your life's work.

You can be an amazing dancer, and lose out on a lot of socializing now, with a chance of making up for it later when you're the toast of Broadway or the National Ballet. Or you can be a normal teen and date and hang out like everyone else, but give up your chance of becoming a professional dancer. But unless you can pack more than 24 hours into a day, it's unlikely that you can do both.

I'm sorry that I don't have a different answer for you. I have the utmost respect for those who sacrifice the fleeting pleasures of the here-and-now, in order to focus on a big future goal. But I also sympathize, because I know you feel like you're missing out. I can only tell you to keep looking into your heart, and asking yourself what you truly want for your life. The answer is inside you - now it's just about figuring it out for yourself.