TROUBLE SPEAKING UP FOR HERSELF

Dear Jellybean,

I have a problem. I've noticed that I have trouble speaking up for myself. Its like I want to say something but I never have the courage to say it. Like one time I was in the hairshop for about four hours waiting to get my hair done. It was already washed but I needed it straightened. Then when I sat down these two girls were like were next and I said no but didn't move. But hadn't my sister been there to tell them how long we had been there, they probably would have got the best of me. Please help me. I don't want to be scared to speak my mind.
-Scared to talk

Dear Scared to talk,

Speaking your mind is one of the best skills you can learn as a teenager. What it's really all about is, being confident enough to realize that you deserve just as good treatment as anybody else. Plus, knowing how to demand good treatment.

Do you worry that if you say what you feel, you could hurt someone's feelings? That’s sweet, but remember, being nice doesn't mean being a doormat. Everyone has a right to her own feelings about situations and subjects - and that includes you!

You can learn to speak up confidently by copying others who seem self-assured. Notice how they express themselves and pick up their moves. Your role model for this might be a confident friend, a girl you admire at school, or even a celebrity who speaks out in a way you'd like to imitate. You can rehearse your "speaking up" skills with good friends or a family member, or even in front of a mirror. With practice, you can learn to appear more confident.

Remember, it's your life! You've got to stand up for what you believe in. Don't let anyone make you feel like your opinions don't matter. Keep on telling yourself that you are entitled to have your own opinions and feelings about things. Learn to be honest, and you will gain respect from others. More importantly, you'll build self-respect. The more you do it, the easier it will become.