SISTER HURTING HER FEELINGS

Dear Jellybean,

I'm almost 15. I'm a freshman in Highschool. I have an older sister who is 3 years older than me. She is the total opposite of me. She's taller, she has a darker complection and she's skinnier than me. My sister emotionally abuses me. She is always telling me how fat I am. I'm 5'6 and I weigh 150 pounds. It's a very depressing thing for me. All my friends are soo tiny and adorable. I feel like a big fat giant. And when I talk to guys I get really self-concious!!!!! I don't think I'd feel like this if it weren't for my sister. Just the other night she came in my room when I was putting on my t-shirt and she said: "You have nasty stretch marks!! They're purple! FATTY" It hurts my feelings more than anything in the world. And she won't stop. I don't know what else to do!!! HELP ME, I don't like feeling so depressed...
-Fatty Sarah

Dear Sarah,

Your sister may be skinnier, but it sure sounds like you are the NICER one!

I think you should talk to your parents about this, and include your sister in the conversation. Bring it up when you're all together, like at dinner or when you're hanging as a familiy sometime. Say, "I'd like to talk about something in our family that has really been upsetting me." When you have everyone's attention, speak honestly about what's been going on, and how your sister's behavior makes you feel.

This is not tattling, because you are asking your sister to be part of the conversation. She may not even realize how deeply her thoughtless words wounded you. Your parents will probably be shocked that she talks to you that way, and can support you in asking her to treat you more kindly.

Finally, you are NOT a big fat giant. Don't call yourself names! You are a beautiful person. If you want to get in better shape for your health, and to look your best, start by talking to your family doctor about what would be a healthy program of good nutrition and exercise for you. Bring a parent with you to the appointment - whichever one does most of the food preparation in your house, since they'll have to help you if you decide to change your eating habits. Your mom might even offer to do an aerobics DVD with you, and get fit together! Make it a family affair, and you'll build support right in, and make healthy changes that can last everyone a lifetime.