Dear Jellybean,
I'm having some guy problems right now. I really like this guy, and I have been for about a year or so now? However, my friend told me a few weeks ago that she likes him now too. What am I supposed to do? She's in all of his classes at school and I'm in only one or two, and in those classes she's in them too. My other really great friends, most of them feel for me, and understand, but then there are others who 'say' they do but then they go off and anyone can tell they don't.
I guess my main problem here is... He likes her. She's liked him for like three weeks now maybe, and she confessed her feelings for him and he sort of returned the favor. He calls her beautiful all the time, and I barely get any attention. I just don't see how I could be going along great, and then she comes to our school and now I'm out of the picture. What do I do? Do I tell my friend it bothers me? But if I do that I feel selfish, like I'm being greedy and telling her she "Can't have him because he's mine." I just don't know what to do.
Sincerely,
Daisey Duck
Dear Daisey Duck,
I think you can talk to your friend about it, without doing it in a selfish or greedy way. Because you can't really tell her, "You can't have him, he's mine". It's not your place to order anyone around, and tell them who they can or can't date. But you can tell your friend how you feel in an open and loving way.
Talk to your friend about your feelings for this guy and explain to her that you’ve liked him forever. Tell her you're not saying she can't date him, but that it's hard for you to see them together, since you wished for so long that he'd end up with you.
If your friend is a very special kind of girl, it's possible that she'll stop flirting with this guy, to honor your friendship. However, it's probably more likely that she'll keep going after him, since they seem to have a real connection. It's up to you whether that's a "make or break" issue for your friendship., but it would be sad if you stopped being buds over a guy.
It’s never fun when you and your friend like the same guy, and it almost always leads to hurt feelings and bitter tears. Be honest with your friend about how you are feeling - that's all you can do for now. It is never selfish to express yourself honestly to someone you care about, as long as you can do so kindly and without accusations.
