Dear Jellybean,
ok well this might sound mean and selfish, but its really not. :) ok well ill just get to my point. For the past three years, i have been nominated for this national group, called People to People. Well, this coming summer i really want to go on the trip, its to Europe (nice right?). Anyway, my bff Marlee went 2 years ago to Australia and Ive talked to her about going again this year. Becuz i really want her to go and im a little nervous about going by myself. Anyway, she said the trip does look really cool and she woud like to go but she wants a summer where she dosent have to do much and she wants to get in some vulonteer time for highschool. Is there anyway i could convince her into going with a out sounding like a jerk or selfish? i meen i could always go without her but i just have that feeling of wanting her to come with me.
Love,
Frequent Traveler
P.S. Her parents just bought her brother a car, so to be even with her brother she could go on this trip if she wanted to.
Dear Frequent Traveler,
It's not mean to want your best friend to come on the trip with you. It is selfish, though. Not that there's anything wrong with that, you're so normal! Of course you want your friend to come with you, since you're nervous about going. And it would be awesome to spend the summer with your BFF. But if your friend has her own wishes and plans for her summer, you need to respect that - and not pressure her about it.
If your friend had never gone abroad, I might say that she's missing a big opportunity. But she did recently go to Australia, and the experience of going without you probably made her a stronger and more independent person. Now it's your turn to have that experience, and I think that learning to cope on your own in a new place, and make lots of new friends (since there will be many people in the group you have things in common with), are valuable skills that will serve you well as you grow into adulthood.
I'd leave it up to your friend now, whether she wants to go, and not bug her about it too much. She knows you love her, and want her to come along. If she decides it sounds great - and you can keep her up-to-date on your own plans for the trip - maybe she'll change her mind about this summer. But if she doesn't, try to be positive and supportive about her doing her own things. I bet she'd do the same for you.
