Dear Jellybean,
I dont have a best friend. i mean sure i have friends at lunch who i chat with but i dont have a best friend and i havent since the 5th grade and thats only because we lived close to each other and it was easy to get in touch but now my friends at lunch live farther away and i dont get in contact with them as much + they aren't interested in the things im intrested in, and are school is full of cliques theres the populars, the wannabe populars, the emos(who i hang out with but im not emo) the trouble makers who always cuss and make fun of other ppl and get detention, and so forth. i dont really fit in because im the only dorky+nerdy girl at my school and no one shares my intrests. i dont really fit in and i dont believe i should change my "nerdy thing" that im happy with so i will fit in. I'm gonna be a freshman next year and i keep telling my self that there will finally be some ppl who have some thing in common with me but i'd still like to have a friend now.
-Friendless girl
Dear Friendless girl,
I'm glad you don't want to change the thing that makes you special, just to fit in with a crowd. That's a smart and brave choice, and it tells me that you're a strong person. So have faith, you're going to get through this rough patch. I agree that when you're a freshman at a new school, you're probably going to meet a bunch of people who you might click with. But of course, friendship now is what you're looking for.
Might I suggest that you try joining a team or club at your school? It can be really surprising how people from totally different cliques can bond and create true friendships, when they're involved in a shared project that everyone is passionate about. I'm thinking of things like drama clubs, sports teams, writing workshops, school teams and committees, etc. Even if you think you "know" who's on those teams, don't pre-judge them. They might be more interesting - and more like you - than you think. Just be sure to pick something that you're really into, so the new friends you make do share something in common with you.
Another way to go is, to create your own "club" that brings together different types of people. Maybe you're an awesome piano player - ever think of playing keyboards in a band? You could put up some flyers at school, or put an ad in the school newspaper, to find other musically minded kids to jam with. And so on, whatever your interest is.
Finding a new "best friend" will probably take a lot of effort, and some trial-and-error. But hey, everything worthwhile takes work, and it's worth it if it results in even one real friendship. Good luck!
