HOW TO HANDLE A PARTY WITH ALCOHOL

Dear Jellybean,

One of my good friends is having a party next weekend. I'm really excited to go, and all my friends are going. Its going to be a lot of fun, with a lot of dancing and everything. The only thing I'm worried about is that I know there is going to be alcohol there. I'm a little nervous about this because I haven't really had any before, and I don't know whats going to happen there. I want to try it, but I'm afraid I'll go overboard and wont be able to stop. Help?
-Partay Time

Dear Partay Time

That's a great question. There will always be times when people are doing stuff that you're not comfortable with. So it's important to plan out, beforehand, how you'll react when this happens. If you have a plan for what to say, it will be easier to avoid doing what you don't want to do, while still having a fun time with your friends at the party.

If you're not really up for drinking alcohol - and technically, I must tell you, it is illegal if you're under the drinking age for your state/province - then don't do it. Ditto if you're worried about going overboard. Lots of kids think drinking is harmless, but it can actually be dangerous - not only because of health effects, but because it can make you less cautious around people, and that can lead to a girl being taken advantage of. You know what I'm talking about.

Anyway, the first thing you've got to do is, talk to your friends who will be going to the party with you. Talk to the hostess too, since she's a good friend of yours. Let them know in advance that you're not a drinker. Say you don't judge anyone who drinks, but you're not really interested in it. Ask your friends not to pressure you about it at the party, because that would make you uncomfortable. If they tease you, just laugh it off by saying something like, "Hey, I'm hyper enough without booze!" Or, "This is going to be an awesome party, and I'd like to remember it."

At the party, if someone offers you a drink, just say, "No thanks, I'm good." You don't have to explain why you're not drinking, because you don't owe anyone an explanation. If necessary, you can say, "Got one already, it's over there." Yes, this is lying, but if it keeps you from doing something you really shouldn't, it's for a good cause. Or blame it on your folks, by saying, "No way, my mom's like an alcohol detector. I don't need to get grounded again."

Stick to your guns, and don't let anyone feel like you "have" to drink. The fact is, you don't have to do anything to impress other people. And as someone who's been to lots of parties and seen lots of people get stumbling drunk, I can tell you, "impressive" is the last word that comes to mind. Almost everyone is actually way more impressed when someone has values, and sticks to them, because that kind of person is much more rare (and special) than the person who just goes along with the crowd.