STUCK BETWEEN OLD AND NEW FRIENDS

Dear Jellybean,

When I moved up to High School, I left behind my two best friends. They're still best friends and whenever I see them both, all they talk about is their new school, which makes me feel really left out! As if this wasn't bad enough, sometimes my new friends talk alot about their old school, which makes me feel left out again! I feel like I can never be part of my old friends future, nor my new friends past, and I have no idea what to do! Pleaz help me!
-Zoe

Dear Zoe,

I can understand that feeling of being caught between the past and the future. Give it time when it comes to your new friends, at the new school. Focus on getting to know them better, doing fun things together, and spending time with one another. By doing so, you will be creating shared experiences that will become your shared memories. Next year, you'll be looking back together, not separately, at all the things that have happened with your group. Don't tune out when they talk about the "good old days" either - ask them questions about those times, find out what their favorite moments were, etc. It will give you a clue to what makes them tick, and you can share stories about your past too, which is a great way to bond with new people and find out what you have in common.

As for your old friends, they're continuing on a path together and creating new memories themselves. These don't include you, so of course it makes you feel excluded when they talk about them. But again, instead of being put off when they gush about their new school, ask them questions about it, compare it to your school, and try to bring the conversation around to shared experiences ("Your caff has pizza Fridays? Mine too!").

If you want to stay close to your old BFFs, you'll need to make a big effort. It's so easy to drift apart from people we don't see all the time. Be creative about coming up with ways you can all hang out, and create new memories together that are about you three, and not about anything else. Invite them over to your place for a sleepover, rent funny movies that you can laugh at together, even send them surveys by email that ask them tons of questions about themselves (you can find great ones on the "Games and Quizzes" board at the Myjellybean.com Chat Boards. Let your old BFFs know that you've got new friends too, but it's really important to you that you three stay close. Hopefully they'll agree, and be into doing stuff together too.