BF ISN'T AFFECTIONATE

Dear Jellybean,

my boyfriend and i have been going out for almost 3 months now. he is the sweetest person i have ever met in my entire life. he is always there for me and i am always there for him. and i know it might sound funny but i really love him and he loves me back. but there is only one problem. he doesn't show that he loves me. like he doesnt do the things boyfriends are supposed to do like hold your hand and kiss you and hug you. i guess you could say that he doesnt know how to be "boyfriendish" with me. but i know that he knows what a boyfriend should act like because i knew his ex and he was always boyfriendish around her. but it bothers me how he isnt like that around me. and i dont want to tell him and i try to drop hints but he just doesnt seem to get the hint. and his bestfriend is another one of my close friends and he said to give my bf time and things should change. but i've waited a while and i just want to change this. how can i change things.
-Courtney

Dear Courtney,

His friend is probably right, your boyfriend just needs more time. You don't say how old you and your boyfriend are, but I'm guessing you're pretty young. If he hasn't had much experience kissing girls, he could be quite nervous about it. Plus, the pressure is on a bit, since you two care about each other so much. Your boyfriend might worry that he could ruin things if he gives you a bad kiss.

You can help your guy feel more certain about your bond, by letting him know how much you value him. Take opportunities to let him know how special he is to you, how close you feel to him, and how lucky you feel to have him in your life. The more he knows that you care about him as a person, the less he'll worry (hopefully) about you running away if he's an awkward kisser.

You can encourage your boyfriend with "hints" as you say, but please don't push him. It's okay to give him a little kiss on the cheek, or give him hugs, but if you love him, try to be patient and allow him to move at his own pace. If you were a guy writing in about a girl, I'd tell you the same thing.

The first kiss between a couple, especially two people in love like you are, is something you will always remember. It shouldn't be something that one person had to push or plan for - it should happen naturally and spontaneously, when both people are ready. I know it's hard to be patient, but if this is real love, then you must allow your guy the time to make his own move, when he's ready.