FIRST KISS DILEMMA

Dear Jellybean,

Okay, so here's the scoop. I'm 14, and I still haven't had my first kiss. That doesn't bother me too much because I know it'll come eventually. But there's more to it than that. I just earned a lead in a major play, and I have to kiss this kid for it. One just totally treats me like crap. I don't want to kiss him, but I'll do it for theatre :P I just don't really want my first kiss onstage...

And then there's this boy JMB. He's amazing, and he's my best friend. I've loved him for about a year. I truly believe he feels the same, but he has these principles that he'll never date a friend. [BTW, for me to say that I think he likes me is a big deal, I have no confidence whatsoever] I'd so much rather kiss him for my first kiss... but he doesn't know I like him that way. And, according to his friends, he won't admit to himself he likes me, but he talks about me all the time and is so sweet with me.

Is there a way to get my first kiss with JMB instead of onstage, totally unmeaningful, with a guy who's wicked mean to me?

Thank you!
-Ashley

Dear Ashley,

Here's the real scoop: A kiss in a play doesn't really "count" as your first kiss. It's just acting, which means it's not real. Yes, your lips will touch the guy's lips and all, but it's just for show, and you're pretending to be your characters, and it's something you have to do because it's written down on paper. So basically, it's not your first kiss, and you don't have to think of it as such.

As for your guy friend, I can see two pretty good options for you. If you're feeling gutsy and flirty, use this situation to get him to kiss you. All you have to do is say, "I know you don't date friends, but I so don't want to waste my first kiss on that kid I'm in the play with. Can you give me a nice kiss, so at least I know my first kiss was with a friend?"

It will take major guts to be so direct with your guy friend, but it might work. Do know, however, that if he kisses you out of pity, it might be nice but it might also never happen again. And it could create weirdness between you. Or not. But there's a chance that things could be awkward after that. So if you feel there's any risk to your friendship, tread carefully in this direction.

The other option is, tell your guy friend, "I can't believe my first kiss is going to be with (whatshisname in the play), what a waste." Ten say no more. If your friend really likes you, he may be stirred to let you know it, and give you a real first kiss. Or, he could hint that maybe he should be the one to kiss you first. Then you can say, "That's nice of you, but I'd only want you to kiss me if you really meant it." That gives him an out, but also gives him a great opportunity to let you know he shares your emotions. Good luck!