DOES HE STILL LIKE HER?

Dear Jellybean,

I met this guy two years ago and we became fast friends. Everyday we talked and got to know each other better. After a month or so, we told each other that we liked each other. I felt so happy because he truly is a great guy and I totally saw myself dating him. We really liked each other back then. But, he never asked me out. He wanted to do it in person, but we always had trouble trying to hang out again because I had moved and we lived very far from each other now. We realized that if we were having trouble seeing each other, we should just call it off and go back to being friends. Now, we're best friends but we realized that we haven't really seen each other in the longest time. Once we hung out, I started to get the feeling that he still maybe likes me. He's had a girlfriend for about a year now, but he's always having fights with her and always telling me that he thinks things arent going so well between them. I'm not saying that I would like to be with him again. I'm actually not so sure if I like him or not. I'm always getting the feeling that he likes me and I don't like the idea of him telling me he's not happy with his relationship if he actually does like me. All my friends are telling me that he still really likes me and I feel uncomfortable about it. I thought that we were doing so well being best friends for two whole years. But he's constantly giving me the idea that he still has lingering feelings. What should I do?

Dear Writer,

Wait and see. That is, wait until he doesn't have a girlfriend. Your guy friend may have lingering feelings for you... or he may be flirting with you because he's annoyed with his girlfriend, or just wants to know that other girls still find him attractive after he's dated the same person for so long. It's hard to know exactly what's going through his mind. But until he is a free man, what you should do is treat him like any other guy who has a girlfriend - that is, don't count him as a serious romantic possibility.

That's not to say that all hope is lost, as far as a romance between you, if that's what you want. Stay good friends with him, listen when he wants to talk, and share your opinions and emotions with him - just like you would with any good friend. When he confides about fights with his girlfriend, be supportive and listen, but don't tell him what to do. He needs to make his own decision on this.

If they end up breaking up, you can offer to spend more time with your friend to "help him feel better" and then see where that leads. But until that time, keep your heart and mind open to other guys. There's no sense putting your whole romantic life on hold for a guy who's in a relationship, and lives far away... especially when you don't really know how you feel about him.