LETTING DOWN HER GUY FRIEND

Dear Jellybean,

I have a friend who I share all my secrets with. We talk for hours together, and we're basically BFF these days. However, recently, he told me he has a crush on me while we were talking on MSN. The problem is, I have a crush on a different guy, and I only like him as a friend. I've read sooo many things about what to do if you're in his position, but NOTHING about what to do if you're in mine! Please help Jellybean!
-confusedaboutwhattodo

Dear confusedaboutwhattodo,

Don't feel bad. This happens all the time with guy-girl friendships. Often, one of the friends decides that their feelings are getting romantic, and makes it known. If you don't share your guy friend's feelings, you need to let him know.

Honestly, whatever you say to your friend, he's going to be a little hurt. After all, nobody likes to be rejected. But the way you tell him can make a big difference in what happens next - since you obviously care about your guy BFF, and want to keep the friendship going.

Start by respecting his feelings. Don't go telling all your girlfriends about this. It may seem like an exciting drama that he likes you and everything, but to him, this is a big deal and very personal.

You'll want to talk to him as soon as possible too. Don't lead him on in any way, or keep him in suspense about your feelings. If he feels like you kept him hanging for too long, your friend could get angry and feel like he's been played.

Be direct and honest with your guy friend - in the nicest way possible, of course. Ask him to meet you privately, and tell him that you only like him as a friend. You could say that "only" seems like a weird word, because his friendship is one of the most important things in your life, and you don't want to do anything that could risk it. After all, if you dated he could lose interest in you that way, but if you stay friends you don't have to take that chance.

You could also tell your friend that he's "like a brother" to you. He might understand this, and even though he'll still be hurt that you don't like him back, at least he'll know that you like having him as a close friend.

Tell your friend that you hope this situation won't damage your friendship, because he's your best friend, and you still want to be close that way. But do make it clear that this is as far as your relationship will ever go. Even if you want to make him feel better, giving him false hope would just be cruel. Hopefully, your friendship is strong enough to weather this storm and you two can remain good friends.