TALKING TO HER CRUSH

Dear Jellybean,

I just want to say that I love your site a lot, and it’s extremely helpful, and builds an easier lifestyle for girls. But I have this question that probably comes up all the time. I just started high school this year. I have this cute boy in my home ec class, and he’s really funny. I also noticed how he keeps on looking and sometimes smiling at me. I really want to talk to him, but he’s at the other side of the room, and I don’t exactly want to walk across the room to have a conversation with him, and basically declaring to everyone else that I might like him. And I’ve only just met him, so were still acquaintances. I really want him to like me, or at least have me as a friend that he can count on. What should I do?
-Suzanne

Dear Suzanne,

This is probably the most common question I get asked. It would seem bizarre to just cross the room and talk to the guy out of the blue. Plus as you say, it would be like announcing to everyone that he's your crush. But not to worry, there are ways of getting around that!

You're off to a great start, with the looking and smiling. You're smiling back, right? That's such a great way to send a message to a guy that you'd be interested in more contact, if he is. So when this cutie looks at you, be sure to give him a friendly smile. Work up your nerve to start mouthing "hi" too. It may seem slightly bold, but it really isn't, and it's awfully cute. He'll probably mouth "hi" back - and that's almost talking!

After you've got that going, it's perfectly natural to start saying "hi" whenever you walk past him in the hallway. After all, you've already been saying "hi", just quietly. Now you're saying it out loud. No big deal.

Once he starts saying "hi" back, then you can move on to the next step, which is by making a friendly comment when you pass by him. If at all possible, come up with excuses why you have to go by his desk in Home Ec, like to grab something from the teacher's desk (if it's over there), to ask a question of a friend who sits near him, to look for something that you allegedly "dropped" in last class, or whatever. Use your imagination.

Anyway, find excuses to walk by his desk. He might speak to you first. But if not, just make a friendly comment, like you'd make to anyone. Something like "Only 2 months 'til Christmas break" or "Great shoes, where'd you get those?" is perfect. With any luck he will pick up on one of your comments and talk back... hey, that's actual conversation! Remember, don't rush away out of nerves if he starts talking. Stick around and chat for a sec before you head back to your desk. Oh yes, and be sure to smile when you talk to him too, so he knows you're friendly and in a good mood to talk.

The other thing you can do is, keep an eye out for him around school, and on extra-curricular listings. Maybe your crush is in a club - drama, coed sports, photography, etc. - that you can join. There's no better way to get to know someone than working alongside them towards a common goal. Good luck, I hope these tips help you get the guy!