BOYFRIEND'S FRIEND FLIRTS WITH HER

Dear Jellybean,

I'm sure you get these types of questions all the time but I'm 13 years old and I have a bit of a problem. I have a wonderful, caring boyfriend that I really like, but his best friend constantly flirts with me. I asked my BF if he's always like that and he said he's just friendly. I tried to brush it off but now his friend (he's also my friend) keeps calling me and texting me. One text said, "Do you like me?" and I said that put my foot down and said respect him like a brother only and I wouldn't do anything to hurt my BF.

Apparently this has happened in the past that his friend got my BF's ex after they broke up. She also hinted that a reason for their break-up in the first place was because of his friend's friendlyness. I need a way to stop this behavior before this becomes a problem between my BF and me.

Thanks for taking the time for reading my e-mail, I always rely on your site for any help. :)

-Just Say No

Dear Just Say No,

This is a problem. Even if your boyfriend doesn't realize it, he doesn't have much of a friend there. Being friendly is one thing, but actively flirting with his bud's girlfriends, and even dating one of his exes, is not the behavior of a real friend.

It's not up to you to say whether they should stay friends, but you do need to nip this behavior in the bud, where you are concerned. I think you should ignore the friend's texts from now on - just don't reply to them. Same with the phone calls - don't answer the phone if you see his number come up. If he asks you in person why you didn't reply, or why you're not answering his calls, you can let him know, "I didn't have anything to say to you" or, more bluntly, "Can't you get your own girlfriend to call?"

Then, tell your boyfriend what you're doing. It's really important that he know how much his friend's behavior bugs you, and what you're doing to stop it. It doesn't matter if he thinks his friend is just being friendy - make it clear that you're uncomfortable with his friend's extra attention, and you want him to back off. Ask your boyfriend to back you up with his friend, and pass on the word that you aren't into taking his calls.

In the end, you don't need to be friends with your boyfriend's friends for the relationship to work - and you certainly shouldn't have to flirt with them. Stick to your guns, and expect your boyfriend to respect your feelings on this. He can stay friends with Mr. Flirty, but if he wants you to stay his girlfriend, he should support you in keeping a healthy distance between yourself and this guy.