DID SHE RUIN THINGS WITH HIM?

Dear Jellybean,

I have a huge guy problem. There is a guy that i met this year, at one of the dances. He was one of the "weird" guys that people would say bad things about. He was a really sweet guy but i didn't know him that well. We had a school play that we both were in and he asked me out. I didn't know him that well so i said no. Then a few months later i realized that i did like him, and i knew him better. After one of the other dances, he asked me out. The problem was that when i got to school everyone was telling me to break up with him because he was "weird". I wasn't thinking for myself and their words convinced me that i didn't like him, so i broke up with him that night. (We had been going out for only 2 days, so i guess it didn't really count) But after that happened i realized that I do like him, a lot. I think i might have ruined things with him! I don't know what to do now, please help!
-Confused in CT

Dear Confused in CT,

I hate to say it, but I think you may have ruined things with him too. You dumped him pretty badly last time, and it's a good bet he doesn't know you did it because of peer pressure. No, he probably thinks you just don't like him, because hey - what else is he supposed to think in that situation?

Of course, there's always a remote chance that he'd take a risk and get involved with you again, despite his past experiences with you. But before you go about trying to make that happen, do some serious thinking about whether you can stand up to the pressure this time, if everyone bugs you to break up with him. Do you really think you can stick with him, if all your friends laugh and say you're dating a weirdo? What if nobody wants to hang out with you when you're around him, do you like him that much, or will it sink you again? Do some real soul-searching on these questions, because this poor guy has been through a lot, and doesn't deserve to be dated and dumped within a week... again.

If you're convinced you've learned something from all this, and you can stand above the opinions of others from now on, then by all means, go for it. You're going to have to be pretty direct with him this time around, though. Flirting, or throwing out subtle signals, isn't going to work, since the guy probably thinks you can't stand hikm, or might even think you're making fun of him.

So approach your crush in private (to prevent awkwardness for either of you), and say something along the lines of, "I know things didn't work between us last time, but it was all my fault. I really like you. Would you be into dating me again?" Then hold your breath and hope he's the forgiving type... and that he still likes you. Good luck!