SAID YES, MEANT NO WITH GUY FRIEND

Dear Jellybean,

I am in a dilemma. My best guy friend recently asked me out, and I said yes. I really don’t like him though, and I could never think of him like that, and I don’t even know why I said yes. I told all of my friends, and they made fun of me. He isn't very cute, but he is an amazing talker and he really likes me. I am thinking that I should wait a couple more weeks to dump him, but I really don’t want to lead him on. Plus, I can't take all of my friends making fun of me. But, he is my first "boyfriend" and it feels so amazing to not be single. I am sort of contradicting myself right now, so maybe you could help me. Thank you!
P.S. I don’t know if this will help, but we are both only 13
-I am an oxymoron

Dear Oxymoron,

Oops. Saying yes when you mean no is quite a bad habit, so hopefully this situation has broken you of that! You're in a pickle, but with any luck, you can get out of it and keep your friend.

First things first, you need to break up with your friend. Forget dating him for a few weeks more. You're not really into him that way, and it would be dishonest emotionally. Plus, if he ever found out (and these things happen), he'd be totally humiliated, just as you would be if you were in his shoes.

So set up a time to see your friend/boyfriend, and end the dating. Be direct but make it about you. You might try saying something like, "You're awesome and I really like you. But I feel uncomfortable in this relationship. I miss how we were as friends, and I want to go back to that."

Be prepared that your riend might get angry at your (seemingly) sudden change of mind, or be confused by it. If he questions you, just say, "I thought I wanted to, but now I realize I'd rather have you as my friend." He might try to convince you, but stick to your guns.

Make it clear that this isn't about your friend's looks, or the way he kisses, or anything that he's done. Take responsbility, say you made a mistake, and you realize you treasure his friendship, and want to keep things on that level.

It's possible your friend will need some time apart from you, to deal with this. He might be embarrassed to tell people that you dumped him already, and could feel pretty tender about it. Give him some space, and don't pressure him to get back to being friends as usual, until he is ready. Do be friendly to him though, smile and say "hi" when you see him in the halls at school, and show him that you're ready for his friendship, when he's ready to share it again.

As for wanting to not be single, I get it - but really, you're only thirteen. Dating someone just to have a boyfriend is pretty lame, and it doesn't make anyone - not you or the guy - feel that good. Better to wait until you really care about someone romantically, and are truly ready for that kind of relationship, rather than rushing into it. There are about a million other things you can be doing with your time, in the meantime.