BF DOESN'T LIKE HER FRIENDS

Dear Jellybean,

I love my bf, we've been together for 7 months and like 2 weeks. However the thing is is that he doesn't like my friends (or at least I think he doesn't). He always talks about them to me. He talks about how they have no boyfriends, how he hates for me to be with them because they might try to make me cheat, he hears things about them, and he wishes I didn't have friends. I feel girls do the same things as guys but they just get called all kinds of names. We have a really good relationship, however he can't stop talking about my friends and its sooooo annoying.
-Pretty annoyed

Dear Pretty annoyed,

He wishes you didn't have friends? Uh oh, red alert! Listen: When someone you are dating wants you to drop your friends, or creates a situation where you cannot have him and also see your friends, he is removing your support system and isolating you. This is one of the key indicators of an abusive personality. I'd be awfully careful with this guy.

Friends are a girl's most important support system, after family. For some of us, our friends really are our family. If your guy is asking you to give that up, you need to ask yourself, why? How would that benefit him?

If your guy is insecure about you cheating, tell him you're not that kind of person. Full stop. You've never cheated before, you're not going to cheat now, and nobody can "make" you cheat. Tell him also that your friends don't encourage cheating, because they're good people and wouldn't want you to do anything against your values. They might be single, but all that means is they're looking for guys themselves. They know you've got one already.

Also let your guy know how important your girlfriends are to you. Be clear that you are not going to give them up, for anyone or for any reason. Tell him that if he puts the pressure on you to choose between him and your friends, he's not going to like your choice.

Your guy doesn't have to hang out with your friends, or even get along with them. After all, he's dating you and not them. But he also shouldn't be rude to them, or insult them to you. And he especially shouldn't demand that you get rid of them. That's just crazy talk.

Maybe you need to point out to your boyfriend that when he insults your friends, he's insulting you, because you love them and you choose to spend your time with them. Tell him that hurts your feelings, and if he cares for you, he'll cut it out.

If your boyfriend keeps pressing you to stop hanging with your friends, or does things to distance you from them, I'd get rid of him, and fast. If that happens, he's trying to control you, and get you in a situation where you have nobody to turn to, when he turns on you. And that's a scary thought.