KEEP WAITING FOR HIM?

Dear Jellybean,

I started to like this guy during a school trip that we had together a week ago, but the problem is that he’s younger than me. I’m a junior and he’s a freshmen. We don’t have any classes together and I seldom see him around school. He had once said to me that he barely breaks the "grade barrier" though he feels more comfortable with older kids like he is with me. At first, he replies my messages on facebook very regularly, but now I have to wait for days until he replies. He barely comes on MSN anymore too. He is still sweet when I (rarely) meet him at school, but I don’t know what’s going on outside of school. And he also mentioned to me on the trip about this "best best friend" of his that is a girl and I don’t know if he likes her or not. Should I continue to wait for him? Because it’s very hurtful to wait each day crazily in front of the computer for him to come online or to either reply my messages.

Love,
Age Gap Problem

Dear Age Gap Problem,

Waiting in front of the computer - or by the phone, or at a guy's locker for that matter - bites. As hard as it is, I think you have to do a realistic assessment of what's going on here. He's not replying to your messages for days. He's nice to you when you run into him, but he's not making a big effort to run into you (or you'd be seeing him at school more often). What it all adds up to is... he's "just not that into you" as the saying has it.

If you think I'm wrong, or need to confront him about your feelings so you'll know for sure, you can go ahead and do that. Send him an email, or wait til one of those chance times you see him in person, and ask him out. Say something direct and honest like, "I think you're a cool person. Want to hang out on Friday after school?" If he says yes, fabulous, I was wrong. If he says no (or says he's busy on the day you named), you can get out of feeling awkward by saying, "Okay, no big, a bunch of us are just hanging out at (the theater/my place/wherever) and I thought you might want to come too." He'll think you were just being friendly, and you won't have to be embarrassed.

But if you're not up for asking him out, I'd say it's time to stop hanging around waiting for messages. All that time waiting in front of the screen is not good for your ego, and there are better things you could be doing with your time. Like spending it with friends or family, getting your homework done, or coming up with someone new to crush on.