CRUSHING ON SHY GUY

Dear Jellybean,

I'm in a bit of a sticky situation. I know you probably get questions like this one a lot, but I need to know for sure. I have a crush on this really cute boy. My friends know and the say he likes me too. My BFF said he's always looking at me and smelling of my hair (kinda weird).

It's not only my friends who point it out. Well people don't actually say out loud that he likes me, likes me, but they drop hints. One of my crush's friends made a comment about us. It was on picture day and we are all on the academic team (yeah, I'm a nerd and I like nerdy boys) so, we had to take a picture of the whole team together. The comment was that he should put his arm around me and give me a kiss. Not only did I blush- but' he did too. Another friend of his, said we should go out.

The problem you ask? He doesn't make any direct hints about crushing on me. I wouldn't really call us close friends, but we do know a little about each other and we talk sometimes. He offers to do things for me, but I don't know if he's just being polite or what. Is the pupil trick thing (if a person likes you, their pupils get bigger) true? He looks into my eyes when we talk, but his pupils remain the same size.

Thank you for taking the time to read my question. Your site is awesome and you give great advice, so please help. I would appreciate it very much. :)

Thanks,
Confused Nerd

Dear Confused Nerd,

That pupil size theory is as old as the first computer, and about as reliable. Don't count on it to actually tell you anything, is what I'm saying. (Plus, staring into someone's eyes as you try to assess whether their pupils are growing/shrinking could make you look more than a little crazy... not exactly the effect you're going for!)

Your crush sounds like a shy guy, and shy guys need two things when it comes to the girls they like: Time and encouragement. Don't try to rush your crush, because it will just make him scamper back into his shell like a scared little crab. (Oh yeah, I'm all about the metaphors today). Seriously, all the signs are good so far. He offers to get you things, his friends drop hints, and he looks at you when speaking to you. That's all very positive stuff. Try to enjoy the friendship that you're building, get to know him better at a slow pace, and allow things to develop naturally. That is probably your best bet for success.

As for encouragement, that's all about letting him know that you think he's a worthwhile person. Listening without interruption when he speaks, asking him questions about his interests, smiling and saying "Hi!" like you're happy to see him when you cross paths at school - all these things let him know you like his company, and don't think he's repellant. If your crush is like most teenaged guys - let alone the nerdy ones - he assumes most girls find him weird. So letting him know you like him as a person, will go a long way toward building his confidence with you, and hopefully that will lead to romance down the road.