ASK HIM TO PROM?

Dear Jellybean,

I want to ask a guy i have a crush on to go to prom with me. my only problem is i am afraid he will say no, because he usually doesn't go to dances. i am pretty sure he likes me... so idk what to do. what do you think?
-Confused One

Dear Confused One,

There is always a risk of someone saying "no" when you ask them. But that doesn't mean you shouldn't ask. Just follow my tips to do so in a way that won't leave you feeling burned, if he ends up turning you down.

First things first: You've got to make sure that your crush does not already have a date for prom. Even if he doesn't usually go to dances, it doesn't mean somebody else hasn't already asked him (or that he hasn't asked somebody this time). So how do you find this out in a casual way? It depends on whether you're already friends with him, or if it's more of a crushing-from-afar situation.

If you're friends with your crush already, this is going to be much easier. When you're hanging out next time, just ask him casually, "Hey, are you planning to go to prom?" If he has a date already, this gives him an opportunity to tell you.

The way your friend responds will also let you know how he feels about going. "No way, I hate dances" is pretty clear - and then you know not to ask him. But if he says something more vague like, "I don't know" or "Why, are you going?" you can say, ""I think it's going to be fun, and I wondered if you'd like to go with me." If he says no, just play it off like you meant it as a "friends thing" anyway. You could even suggest making it a group thing, where your friends all go together.

If you don't know your crush that well, you'll have to do the classic ask-him-out thing. To minimize the risk of embarrassment, choose a quiet location and an appropriate time to pop the question. Forget asking him when his friends are around. Not only could it make him uncomfortable, but there's a chance his buds will tease you (whether or not he accepts).

Also plan out, beforehand, exactly what you going to say. Focus on keeping it simple. Try practising something like, "Would you be interested in being my date for prom?" Or, "I don't have a date for prom yet and I wondered if you would like to go with me."

When you ask him for real, pause after you say your question, and WAIT for a response. Don't gush or blabber just to fill in the silence if he is slow answering, or he might think prom is a huge deal in your life. Just ask him to attend with you, and politely wait for a response.

If you get a yes, give your future date a nice smile. Then tell him you will get in contact with him later to talk about when and where you'll meet, how you'll get there, and so on. The reason for this is, leaving on a high note means you leave with a positive impression - and don't give yourself the chance to blow it by getting all gushy!

If you get a no, well that's the chance you took for asking someone out. Try to keep in mind that guys go through this kind of rejection all the time. Try not to take it personally - there is every chance that he is saying no because he already has a date, or has a long-time crush on some other person. It doesn't mean you're not an amazing girl. Just handle his rejection gracefully with a smile and a quick "thank you." He'll always remember how classy you were about it.