CAN SHE CONVINCE HIM TO LIKE HER?

Dear Jellybean,

I was invited to a party at my friends house on Friday night, and like the whole grade was there, people I didn't even know. So I meet this guy there named Chris and we started talking, and dancing. A slow song came on and and he asked me to dance with him, and I accepted of course! But, at the end of the party when everyone was leaving, he told me he liked me, but just as a friend, not a girlfriend. I have never had a boyfriend before, and I really like this guy. I was wondering if there was a way I could convince him to ask me out. I barely new this guy, but if felt so right being with him. Do you have any advice for me about us getting together?
-Wants More than a Friend

Dear Wants MTAF,

Not really - sorry. Just a bit of a reality check. If a guy comes right out and says he only likes you as a friend, then you have to take his word for it. Flirting, and strategies for getting closer, are useful (and fun) when you're trying to figure out how a guy feels about you. But you already know that. And though it's disappointing, there's not much you can do to change it.

Don't take this too personally. I'm sure you're an awesome person, with lots of attractive qualities. There could be a hundred reasons why this guy doesn't want to date you - he could be in love with someone else, be getting over a breakup, have a thing for girls with a different hair color, or whatever. In any case, you've got your answer. Now you've got to be realistic. Why put yourself in the position of going after something you're probably not going to get?

I think you should use this situation to learn more about what you want in a guy. Think about what this guy has that attracted you so much. Is it his looks? That he's a good dancer? His conversation? The way he seems to respect girls? Consider the qualities that drew you to him. That can tell you a lot about what you want in a future boyfriend, and even about yourself. And that can only help you as you move forward - and move on - in your search for "more than a friend".