SHE WANTS HIM HAPPIER

Dear Jellybean,

My boyfriend's been pretty sad these past few weeks, but now he's really depressed. His cousin's on life support because of cancer and the doctor said he'll pass on sometime this week. I totally understand why he's so sad, but I want to see the old him, the happy him again, but I don't know how to do that. Can you help me, without me having to break up with him??
-Depressed about sad boyfriend

Dear Depressed,

Break up with him. He deserves a better girlfriend. Sorry to be so harsh, but you are being completely self-obsessed. Your letter is all about you, and what you're going through, without even a thought to how your poor boyfriend is feeling over his cousin's illness and impending death.

Imagine that someone you loved dearly - your mother, a brother, close cousin, your cat - was dying a painful death, and you couldn't do a thing about it. Then imagine that a friend was all, "You're so boring, always so sad, why don't you cheer up and be your old self." You would probably be shocked at their selfishness.

Loving someone for real means supporting them, through good times and bad. I feel awful for your boyfriend that he can't count on you for that kind of support. He is in terrible pain right now, and needs to be surrounded by people who care about him enough to try and comfort him, and aren't just thinking about how his problems affect them. You'd be giving him a gift if you set him free, so he can find someone who loves him that way.