DID SHE RUIN EVERYTHING?

Dear Jellybean,

I have a friend from school that I like as more than a friend. I think he likes me to because he always flirts with me. He will say things like I know you like me you don't have to hide it but I will deny my feelings for him because I don't want him to know and then he will say I know I know I'm just kidding. However, the other day I think I went to far with denying my feelings. I told him that I only like him as a friend about five times and he finally said I know I get that. After that the conversation got really awkward and we don't talk to each other as much as we used to. I really miss being close friends with him and I would really like to fix things please is there something I can do without letting him know I like him as more than a friend? I think I may have ruined the one chance I had with him. Please help me!?

Dear Writer,

You might not have ruined things totally... but you definitely rejected him. He's probably keeping his distance now because his feelings got hurt. You don't have to confess your love in order to make things right, but you do have to make him feel better if you want to keep your friendship.

Think about how you'd feel if someone had told you, over and over again, that they didn't like you as more than a friend. You might get the feeling that the person thought you were ugly, boring, not worth dating. That's probably where your guy friend is at right now.

So how to solve this? I think you're going to have to resort to some serious flattery. You need to let your guy friend know you do think he's attractive and nice, to soothe his ruffled feathers. This isn't about saying you like him "that way", but making him feel like you think other girls would.

Because saying that out loud to him could feel too awkward or weird in person, you might want to put it into an email. Write your friend and tell him something like, "Sometimes I just talk and I don't even know what I'm saying. I feel like I might have hurt your feelings the other day. I was just joking around and I didn't mean anything by it. You should know that I think you're totally cute, and a great person, and any girl would be lucky to have you as a boyfriend." Then ask him to write back or give you a call.

I can't guarantee you that this will work. It's worth a shot though. Good luck!