GETTING OVER HIM

Dear Jellybean,

My ex-boyfriend and I dated for 14 months, and then I broke up with him. I broke up with him because I wanted a break from the relationship, since we were spending so much time together. He was begging for me back, but I refused saying I needed my time. Then summer came and he didn't talk to me all summer. He told me it was because he wanted his time to get over me. Well during this time is when I realize, I really miss him and want him back, but he already told me we it'd probably be better if we stayed apart.

School started, and we were talking again and now we're pretty good friends, but I'm pretty sure when he looks at me and talks to me, he looks at me as his "ex-girlfriend." Not a friend. While it's the opposite for me. And I wish it was the same way for him. I don't like being looked at as the ex-girlfriend. I want to leave the past behind.

But as much as I want to do this, I can't help but still love him. Everything he does reminds me of when we were dating, and I realize how much I miss him being more than my friend/ex-boyfriend.

I really want to get over him,since us dating again doesn't seem to be in the future, but there's just something about him that I can't let go. Moving on to another guy, isn't really an option. 1) I only like one other guy, who doesn't like me. 2) None of the guys at my school would ever date me. It's just the way they are... or I am.

And meeting guys out of school isn't possible, since after dumping him, I no longer have a life out of school and it's my friends who the boys look at, not me.

So, I guess what I am asking is how can I get over him, and how can I find someone new?
-Hopeless

Dear Hopeless,

You've been through a tough time. But you can definitely get past this... it's just going to take some effort on your part.

I sympathize with your situation of having trouble getting over someone who you loved, and spent so much time with. Been there! Check out the Myjellybean.com article "Getting Over a Bad Breakup" for practical tips on doing just that.

As for meeting new guys, I can think of two options for you. One is, give the guys at your school another chance. Get involved in school activities, anything from sports to after-school clubs like yearbook committee or student government. You'll meet and get to know people from your school in a different way, and maybe certain guys will start to see you in a new light.

The other option is, get a life outside of school. You don't have one now? No trouble - get started by taking a class, volunteering in your community, getting a part-time job, etc. Nobody can hand you a life - it's up to you to make it for yourself. The more work you put into making your life fun and interesting, the more likely you are to meet new guys. Plus, you'll have more to talk about - and be a more interesting person - when you do meet them. Good luck to you.