WHAT'S THE DEAL WITH HIM?

Dear Jellybean,

I have recently been going out with this guy and I really like him and I know he has a lot of feelings for me. I knew he was going to move so I went ahead and mutually broke up with him to save the heartache. Well, he decided to stay here instead of moving. So, my question is what should I do about the situation? I already asked him what the deal was between us and he said, "I don't know cause I don't really want someone right now."

So what should I do? I really like him and I'm having a party this weekend and he said he will come early to help set up. So, should I flirt and try and get him back or just lay low?

Thanks, I love your site!!!
Moving Madness!

Dear Moving Madness,

It depends on what really happened. This might not have occured to you - and I could be wrong - but if your ex told you he was moving, and suggested breaking up because of it, and then he stayed... I'm sorry to suggest this but... he might never have really been moving. In other words, that could just have been a convenient excuse for him to suggest breaking up, so he could pursue other girls, or just end a relationship he was tired of.

Could that have been what happened? If so, you've got to move on and forget this guy. Anyone who lies to engineer a breakup is not the kind of person who is mature enough - or honest enough - to give his all in a relationship. You can do way better than a guy like that, and I'd encourage you to get over him pronto, and look for someone new to focus your romantic energies on.

Now, if you're sure the move was really on at some point, and I'm way off base on this theory, disregard the above. However, it still might be a good idea to get over him and move on. He's told you he doesn't want someone right now, which is a somewhat nice way of saying, "I don't want to date you right now." Invite him to the party by all means, if you hope to continue a friendship with him, but don't go messing around with him unless he re-evaluates his decision not to date you. It would be pretty awful if you ended up giving yourself to this guy physically, without him having to respect you as a girlfriend, or treat you better than he has been doing.