SHOULD SHE FLIRT WITH HIM?

Dear Jellybean,

Okay, I seem to go through phases. First, I start to have feelings for a certian guy, then I think about asking him out, then either i ask him out and lose intrest, or he gets a girlfriend and i lose intrest then. I just got out of one, and I dont want it to happen again with my newest crush.

Maybe this isnt something that can be helped.

I want to know my new crush better, we have 3 classes and a tae kwon do class together. We talk almost every day, but not much. Im smiling at him in the halls, but i want things to go faster.

Im thinking of flirting with him alot. Were both invited to two parties around christmas, but thats too far away. What would you do in this situation?

Thanks for this advice, it really will help.
-Kind of confused

Dear Kind of confused,

The phases you describe are totally normal, so don't stress too much about them. When you develop a crush on a guy without really knowing him, the chase can be really fun (when you obsess about him, think about asking him out, etc.), but when you actually get to know him better, he can turn out to be totally different than you thought. Or, you could just enjoy the chase at this point of your life, and not really want the hassle of a boyfriend. (Having a BF is fun for sure, but it is a whole lot of work too!)

If you want different results with your new crush, you're going to have to change things up. What I'm saying is, you always do things the same way, and they always lead to the same ending. So why not try a new approach? Make it your goal to become better friends with this guy, without too much flirting, or obsessing about a relationship. Keep up the conversations, and try to make them last longer, and expand to include more topics. If you need some ideas for what to talk about, you'll find a few on this page of the Myjellybean.com site.

As you get to know each other better, you'll get a better idea of what he's all about - and whether he's really someone you'd like to date - hopefully by the time those Christmas parties roll around. Just keep the focus on friendship - which as a bonus, will take the pressure off you to make things happen, and help with those new-crush nerves. Good luck!