SHE'S NOT PENCIL-THIN

Dear Jellybean,

Ok, at my school, all the girls are pencil-like skinny. I'm well, not. I am overweight and I just cant lose it. I have a back problem, so doing the normal exercises are really hard. I do wanna lose weight, and I have a gym account, and go often. I eat healthy whenever I can. I just dont get it, I think I'm doing everything right, but it just wont work. What should I do?
-Another teenage drama queen

Dear Drama Queen,

First of all, you should know that everyone has a "set point" for their normal weight. Meaning, if you aren't meant to be pencil-thin, then all the exercise and eating right in the world might not get you there, because your body has a size and shape it's meant to be, and that's not really something you can change.

You certainly can - and would be smart to - work to get into your best personal shape, by exercising to burn excess fat and tone your muscles. And you should eat well and nutritiously, to give your body the fuel it needs to keep its systems running properly and supply you with the energy you need. But the key is having a realistic goal, because your body can only do so much.

Starving your body of food won't work, because it will just shut down its fat-burning mechanism, and hold onto what's there. This is your body's way of protecting you in times of famine. And you can exercise all you want, but after a certain point, every person has an ultimate point of fitness, and for you that might not equal skinny.

If you feel like you've been doing everything right, and you are still overweight (and by that, I don't mean "not skinny" but carrying quite a bit of excess flab), then it's time to see your family doctor and get some practical suggestions. If you have a bad back, your doctor should absolutely be authorizing any workout plan anyway, to ensure that you don't make things worse for yourself. So my suggestion is, talk to your family doctor about what's a good exercise and nutrition plan for you.

Finally, not every girl needs to pencil-skinny. Skinny doesn't equal happy, or smart, or loveable. It's just a body type, and there are lots of other beautiful shapes out there. It's important to learn to love yourself, the way you are naturally, and not chase some unattainable - and unnecessary - goal. For some ideas about how to achieve body confidence, check out Myjellybean.com's article Love Your Body.