WEIGHT IS BRINGING HER DOWN

Dear Jellybean,

I'm asking help because my mom is just making me feel worse. A few days ago i found out that I am the biggest (as in a weigh the most) in my grade. But see I only weigh 138 lbs and I am 5'7 so I am about a size 4. All my friends are weigh less than me. And it makes me feel terrible. Even my crush weighs less than me! I'm afraid that when i put on jeans that people will compare me to my friends size. I asked my mom if she thought i was to big and she said that i needed to stop eating sweets and exercise more. But i exersise 5 times a week on my school's ultimate team then an extra 4 hrs a week on my volleyball team. I feel like i can't talk to boys cause weigh more than them. I want to weigh at least what my crush weighs (120 ) But its so hard. Please help me, my self confidence is going down the toilet.
-Sort of skinny? yet big

Dear Sort of skinny,

Size four is teensy... besides the fact that size doesn't really matter. Nobody is going to look at your pants label except for you, unless you tell people to. Nobody is going to ask you what you weigh either, and if they do, you can say "Who knows, I haven't stepped on a scale in ages" and that's that.

Weight has nothing to do with what makes you loveable, or a good person, or even cute. Weight is just a number. And if you're not aware of it already, weight doesn't even tell you how skinny a person is! Because muscle weighs twice as much - yes, twice - as fat, a flabby person who weighs 120 pounds can look "fatter" than a fit person who weighs 138 pounds.

If you get stuck on the number on the scale, you miss what's most awesome about you. Your crush doesn't care what you weigh - in fact, he'd probably be deadly bored if you started talking about it. He cares about what you have to say, how enthusiatic you seem when you're talking to him, whether you two hit it off personality-wise. Of course, looks come into play when crushes and attraction are concerned, but most guys would tell you a few pounds here or there wouldn't mean a darn thing if they liked a girl. So stop basing your self-esteem on that - because he sure isn't, and probably nobody else is either.

Wanting to be in your best shape - so you feel strong, have lots of energy, and can accomplish what you want to in a day - is a great goal. That's all about eating good foods, skipping the junk and fast foods (which dulls your hair and is bad for your complexion anyway), and getting a proper amount of exercise.

But as long as you're living healthfully, take pride in how you look, and be the most confident you possible. Act like you know you're a catch, and others will see you that way too, for the most part. If you need some more support in feeling great about yourself, check out the Myjellybean.com article "Love You!" on this page.