STEALING PROBLEM

Dear Jellybean,

I have a stealing problem. Ok, a few weeks ago, me and two friends went to the mall to do our Christmas shopping. It was all going fine, and then one of my friends decided to steal this necklace and bracelet that were too expensive for her. Then my other friend starting taking stuff too. I dont know why, becuase I had never shoplifted before, but then I started taking stuff too. It wasnt "peer pressure" or anything, beacuse they never even asked me to take anything, and I felt pretty bad because we took a lot. I promised myself I wasnt ever going to do it again. But then, I went to the mall again a couple days ago, and ended up stealing even more! The thing is, though I do feel bad, I just dont feel bad ENOUGH to not do it again! Please reply to this, because I obviously cant talk to anybody about this, and I wanted to keep it anonymous.

Thanx,

MirrororriM

Dear MirrororriM,

This is classic peer pressure, actually. You saw your friends doing something, and you got the idea to do it too. Your friends don't have to actually ask you to do something in order to make it peer pressure. They planted a bad idea in your brain, and a few days later you acted on it. Now, you sound like a smart young woman. So let me tell you something: shoplifting ALWAYS ends very, very badly for the person who does it. Just think about the possible outcomes of stealing from stores:

1) You get caught. The store charges you with theft and if you are over age 16, a criminal charge goes on your permanent record. Anywhere you apply for in future - college, jobs, even volunteer work - will have access to this record. They will reject you, because who wants a thief in their school/workplace/community. Your future is ruined.

2) You get caught. You are under 16, so the criminal charge will be wiped off your record on your 16th birthday. But the store could still call the cops to take you in. They will certainly call your parents. Your parents will never trust you again. They will hate themselves for having raised a thief. They will always wonder where they went wrong. You will never be allowed to go out by yourself again or be trusted with anything. Your family life is wrecked. Your social life falls apart.

3) You never get caught. The stores you steal from have to charge more money because they lose merchandise, and so everyone pays a higher price to shop. You know in your heart that you are a thief. Even if you don't now, one day you'll wake up and feel worthless. You will know what you have done, and how wrong it is. You will not be able to undo your crimes. You will have a guilty, nasty feeling in your heart as long as you live. You may even get into other low-down, self-destructive behaviors like drinking or doing drugs, just to forget what a bad person you have become.

You need to look into the future. Do you want a tragic, pathetic life or a good one? If you choose happiness and goodness, STOP STEALING NOW. If you feel out of control, call one of the confidential teen hotlines and get free counselling. Click HERE for Hotline numbers. But PLEASE don't throw your life away because of a silly need to be with the crowd, or fulfill a passing impulse. It only takes a second to steal something, but it can ruin the rest of your life permanently. Good luck.