CAUGHT EAVESDROPPING

Dear Jellybean,

I have a habit of eavesdropping. If someone is on our phone, you can pick up another line and hear the conversation. I like to listen in on my brother with his friends. The problem is that my brother has found out. He has such a small amount of trust left in me... I don't know how to gain it again. We've always been great friends. I'd compare my relationship with my brother with other siblings. They're always hating each other. I don't want that to happen, but it will if things don't change. I need help in two ways: How can I get my brother to trust me again, and how do I actually be trustworthy? In other words, help me not pick up the phone. Please.
-Trustworthy... or not

Dear Trustworthy... or not,

Eavesdropping is a destructive habit. As you have just learned, it has the potential to ruin relationships, by making one person feel spied upon and their privacy invaded. Your once-close relationship with your brother is in crisis, all because you got curious and forgot about minding your own business.

Here's what to do now. First, if you haven't already, apologize sincerely to your brother. Tell him you know what you did was wrong, say you're sorry, and promise to never do it again. His anger may last a while, but it will probably blow over eventually.

In the meantime, you can work on your goal of becoming more trustworthy. How do you do that? Just do it. As Yoda says in the "Star Wars" movies, "Do or do not. There is no try." So DO realize that your brother deserves his own privacy, just as you do. DO mind your own business, and do NOT poke your nose into other people's affairs, unless they choose to share information with you. Do NOT pick up the phone when it's not for you. DO find something better to do with your time instead of spying on others. If you must, DO throw yourself into an alternate activity if you get the urge to eavesdrop, like writing your thoughts in a journal, doing sit-ups, reorganizing the music in your iTunes, or whatever else distracts you. DO ask yourself what you think you're missing when your brother is on the phone, and DO consider whether you need to work on making your life more interesting and fun, so you're not tempted to spy on somebody else's.