CAN'T KEEP A SECRET

Dear Jellybean,

i have a problem i can never keep a secret. what should i do every time my friend tells me who she likes by the end of the day everybody knows and she's mad at me and i can't help it. what should i do?
-Ms big mouth

Dear Ms big mouth,

When you blab a secret to somebody, it might seem like fun. You may enjoy being part of a “drama”, or feel like you’re bonding with someone because you're sharing secret information about another person. But if you keep being a gossip, the danger is that you could wind up without any friends to talk about.

Being a gossip can be social suicide. If people think you can’t keep a secret, you’ll lose friends. Worse, you could gain enemies if people feel hurt or offended by the rumors you’re involved in spreading. You could gain a reputation as a person who can't keep her mouth shut, and then nobody wouls ever want to tell you anything, or even talk to you anymore.

Think before you speak. Before you share that secret, ask yourself: “Would I say this if the person I’m talking about was standing here beside me?” If the answer is no, then zip your lip. Otherwise, you are betraying the person you talk about. That's just immature - and nasty.

Put yourself in the person’s place and think about how you would feel if people you didn't even know - or want to know you secrets - were whispering about you. It would feel pretty awful, wouldn't it? But that's what you are doing to your friend, every time you share her information without asking her first.

Also keep in mind that, secrets are a glue that bond friends together. If your friend tells you a secret, she's sharing something that binds you two together. When you give that info to another person, you're breaking the bond and making your friendship less special. Eventually, your friend will get tired of this and find someone else to talk to. Knowing you have a friend you can trust with your secrets is a pretty great feeling. Try being that person!